Death

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Jan 2016: Yosemite, CA, USA

Steel walls has been built.
Skin refused to touch that soothing silk
Locks has been set,
Keys thrown into the sea, out of breath.
It’s raining outside, but it’s too dry.
All truths believed as lies.
Longing masked as content.
Yearning desire to nurture’s repressed
Formidable cloak’s embraced.
Shield and armour outside, inside’s laced

Angel of destruction to her direction was lured.
The control and comfort she planted were severed.
Just that powerful stare, so hard, she bravely fought
Though words made her iron sheild corroded and soft.

An epiphany cleared her fear of death.
Defenseless, suicidal, to jump-in she decided.
The cliff was boundless, never-ending.
She’s dying or flying.
Half crashing, half embracing.

She abhors waiting.
But she is doing so nonetheless.
Shields down.
Amours ripped off.
Defenseless.
Almost naked!

To her death or love?

 

Lovingly yours, still

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A once in a lifetime chance to see the Northern Lights, hence my face. Fairbanks, Alaska, USA, January 2016

I whispered into your ears, how much I love you.
You played deaf and continued on playing your games.
At twelve midnight, you kissed me on my forehead.

I woke up early to make pancakes, your favourite,
But you had to run and rush for work.
A client is helplessly waiting for your important advice.
In a flash, you took away the coffee I’ve always made for you in a plastic cup.

I sent countless messages reminding you how much I care for you.
Seen, not a single reply.
Content with a smiley face I received from you after five days.

Verbalizing my dreams of you letting me into your life.
By myself facing the mirror.
Reality slaps my face all the time.

I touched your face.
Embraced your imperfections and insecurities.
Held your hand, lightened your struggles.
Hoping to somehow elicit that smile that makes my day.
But instead, for a drop of sweet, you pulled me towards you.
And with an immense force you started to push me away.
Far away.

Apologies accepted, every day.
You chose her over me.
I still love you.
You ignored my plea.
But what can I do?
Nothing much.
Just let these tears dry.
While I continue on missing you.

I miss you.
That’s all I want to say.