Imprisoned longing

imprisoned longing

Cameron Highlands, Tea Plantation , July 2016

Hold my hand, don’t.
Don’t let go.
Or I will tightly tie your hand with my bloody ribbon of expectations.
I will smother you with my care and affection.
I will suffocate you with my sincere embrace.
I will burn you with warmth and nurture.
I will deafen you with my screams of I love you
I will blind you with my visions, my wishes and my hopes for us.

I will drown you with my unceasing support and servitude.
I will kill you because I have so much to give.
More than what you are willing to receive.

Tell me, would you like that?

But I want you to live.
As freely as you want to walk this life time.

Suicidal as it may seem to keep these longing and craving.
Hoping that you will adhere voluntarily to this gift of imprisonment.
I will burst myself.
I will let my heart explode from inside out.
I will let this vulnerability subside trying not to make it known.

I do not want to tie you, smother, suffocate, deafen, blind and drown you.
I love you so much.
I wouldn’t want to take your life.

I am not myself.
I am always selfish.
But I am the opposite when it comes to you.

I love you and I shall let you be, my Love.

Cadaver

 

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Sunrise at Bukit Broga Summit, Malaysia April 9 2016

 

Where hath thy warmth go?

Thy embrace that kept me home for long?

Gone are those secret pleasures that arose in thy promises?

Thy blood flow seemed to cease.

It has darkened and coagulated.

Thy eyes fastened yet sight’s passing through space.

Thy ears listen but meaning remains unprocessed.

Chilly feeling aroused from thy presence.

Thy heart refused to pump.

Thy mind halted to reach out.

Thou art dead.

A cadaver.

My Love is!

No, thy love, once mine, hath died!

But I still love you!