The wait

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Sunset by the River, Luang Prabang, Laos Dec 2017

Nail biting, cold sweat, I feel like vomiting.
Am I just here to ride on?
Obsessing over someone’s hand
That keeps on slipping?
Away, Far, Okay?

My legs aren’t tied.
But my movements are limited.
To fight this magnetism,
Would mean I will have to amputate,
My limbs, myself, my being.
Should I do that?

I want to run away.
But these rusty nails on my feet,
Are persistently being hammered.
I unhooked one a while ago.
Three forcefully dropped from the heavens.
Causing my blood to squirt out!
They went deeper than the one I just removed!

My hands aren’t chained.
My mind is alert.
My eyes, ears, mouth are all free!
But my wholeness is vital!
I can’t leave my feet attached to the ground!

Those birds and butterflies,
They used to accompany me in this ordeal,
They just flew away.
Those bugs and snails,
They used to massage my legs in pain,
They crawled away!

I am broken.
I will always be!

Strings of rejection,
Am I hanging on to the delusion?
Trail of heart aches,
I am waiting until my sanity breaks.

I am waiting!

18 March 2017

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Child helping his father on the boat , Pak Ou Cave, Luang Prabang Laos, Dec 2016

With faith or without,
Diff’rences cause division
Same air we’re breathing.

Worst tragedy is when you meet a great person but he pushes you away just because your ideas, and/or faith are different!

A promise to herself

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Bamboo Bridge, Luang Prabang, Laos, December 2016

Your sudden flight left this huge space in her garden of comfort.
You have initially fill this space with ceaseless promises.
All lies.

She let you occupy this long, guarded land of beauty.
She embraced you as you are.
She held your hand and welcomed you.
Despite the knowledge that sorrow will soon arise from this fiction.
The story came to life and she was prepared.

She let you take off despite it hurts.
She didn’t open the gates immediately for another to fill it in.
Not just yet.
She is determined to fill this wide empty space you’ve left barren.
With herself.
By herself.
Only.

Her wings will grow into this space.
She will dance through this land without regret.
Using the music of your excruciating pledges and kisses.
She will make the most out of the burns and bruises you’ve created.

She will slowly plant new seeds that will soon bear fruits.
Until she no longer dreams of you still occupying this space.
She will own this and make herself expand.
Until it’s all hers.
Her circumference will be bigger than ever.
Her comfort zone will be wider than the universe.
Her talents will be unbeatable.
She will arise as the sole owner of a new fruitful land.
A land that she calls her own body, mind, spirit.
And Heart!