4 May 2017

Silhouette of an old tree,
Backdrop of the sun slowly setting,
Half of my body’s mired into a quicksand
How do I get out of here?
“Why do you want to get out of here?”
A voice from behind suddenly spoke.
“This view is what you’ve ever wanted”
“Stay.”

I looked around and found nobody.
Only the dirt turned into crystalish blue water.
Like the sea or the sky? I wasn’t sure.
I turned mobile.
I was able to pass through it,
Closer to the tree.

Closer, the tree looked ordinary.
It wasn’t as magnificent as it was far away.
I wanted to swim away again.
But the blue matter turned into boiling blood.
I could see half of the people enjoying the heat.
Half of the view was poignant.

I could smell my own blood.
It felt like I was slowly melting.
Is this acid? I asked.
Am I burning?No.
The wounds were healing fast.
The scars it created formed like an art!
It looked beautiful.

I couldn’t decide.
Should I keep staying around here?
Or do I even have a choice?
Am I not paddling away enough?
Am I not running away forcefully enough?
Am I really stuck?

Humans, we never have enough!

On shaming

We are all imperfect. We ,at some point in our lives, had embarrassing public experiences that we all just want to forget. We may have accidentally shove people while rushing, or may have raised our voice on someone because of self-defense. Right? Would you appreciate it if someone just recorded that incident alone without even asking for why or how did the situation started then, circulate it online, just like that? No, right?

What happened to us? We now have this culture of shaming other people for what? For the sake of trending? Or getting famous? Or earning some money from it? Or to acquire sympathy from people we do not even know? I do not know. We all have our own motives. I just hope our motives are of greater value because it can destroy another human being’s life.

We do know that if there is really an injustice somewhere, we could bring our stories and recordings in respective avenues and government agencies. Right? Harassment isn’t tolerable, I know. These recordings are evidences. Meaning, people have to undergo trial before being judged. What are we doing now? Judging someone without trial? Destroying someone’s name and reputation without any knowledge on how exactly the events turned out to be like that?

Because of incidents like this, some of these people are being terminated from work, are being socially ostracized, are receiving threats and couldn’t anymore feel safe and at peace. They have kids , mom and dad and siblings who now, are being dragged into a messy place, as well. Who deserves to be a prisoner outside of prison? No one.

Online, these people are victims too. It is just sad to see, how fast shaming articles, videos and photos are being circulated and how it is even encouraged. I feel that this is also considered bullying.

How do we teach our children forgiveness if we, ourselves, just keep on complaining about a particular race or person online who accidentally pushed us in a crowded bus? Simple incidents that could have been resolved then and there, except we decided just to record it and embarrassed the other human being. Tarnish their reputation online? With this kind of culture, we are planting hate and a lot of prejudices. Eventually, forgiveness will become scarce. We will all just keep on shaming each other.

In a smaller scale, back-stabbing is also something like this.

Can’t we all just talk things out anymore?

These are forms of bullying! And Bullying is never ok.

P.S.

I know, I haven’t been a victim of any major incidents yet. I can sympathize on those who have been and those who have resorted into internet shaming for help. I know that through the internet, we all are given voices, to share and be heard. It is faster to do so too. But, I’m also sending some sympathy to those whose lives have been destroyed because of internet shaming…..

I feel sorry for humanity. I really do. =(

For now

I dived into the wilderness,
Under the earth’s deepest trench.
Swimming endlessly.
Meeting creatures, after creature.
They all want my flesh.
I am getting tired.
My lungs are almost empty.
I am drowning peacefully,
I accepted.
I am almost dying.

I closed my eyes and said my last prayer.
In my final moments,
I want to visualise love.
As I open my eyes again,
A bright creature appeared.
Unknown to me, it smiled to my face.
Hope came to grace.

This creature’s life reverberates
To the core of my being.
Like an invisible CPR.
Without touching me,
It feels like it’s bringing me to life.
I do not know how or why.

Those flesh-eating monsters just observed.
They let us stride smoothly without interrupting.
They didn’t attempt to attack.
I could see their wild tendencies,
But they all just look frozen.
Or maybe, they aren’t.
I’m just not afraid anymore.
For I am behind this unknown brightness.

I am blinded by the light this creature elicits.
It saved me under water.
I am worried.
When it’s brightness wears off,
Will it have the same killer fangs?
Will it squirt poison too?
Will it kill me too?
Or will it just continue to take me away?
From this trench of mosters I am in?

For now, Iam just grateful for it’s existence.
I survived for a bit more!
I survived for now.

Ooops!

You destroyed her limbs because you thought it’s diseased.

The pain you have caused her was unbearable.

Huh, she will not grow her limbs back.

She will develop wings.

She will soar high.

And oh, she forgot to tell you,

FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE!

23 April 2017

The more of them I meet,
The more I lose grip on who you are.
Will you ever exist?
Have you already existed?
They all look like you from a far,but,
No one can steal Me away, the way you do.
Man of my dreams and life,
I have yet to meet,
AGAIN?

Maybe

Maybe I am escaping from now,
Maybe I am not.
Maybe I am running away from reality,
Maybe I am not.
Maybe I want to freeze the moment of not knowing,
Maybe I don’t.
Maybe I want to understand,
Maybe I shouldn’t.
Maybe I’ll just let things be,
Maybe I’ll let things go,
Maybe I’ll let myself float,
Heading to maybe you.
Maybe not.
Maybe you.
I hope it’s to you.
It should be to you!

The wait

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Sunset by the River, Luang Prabang, Laos Dec 2017

Nail biting, cold sweat, I feel like vomiting.
Am I just here to ride on?
Obsessing over someone’s hand
That keeps on slipping?
Away, Far, Okay?

My legs aren’t tied.
But my movements are limited.
To fight this magnetism,
Would mean I will have to amputate,
My limbs, myself, my being.
Should I do that?

I want to run away.
But these rusty nails on my feet,
Are persistently being hammered.
I unhooked one a while ago.
Three forcefully dropped from the heavens.
Causing my blood to squirt out!
They went deeper than the one I just removed!

My hands aren’t chained.
My mind is alert.
My eyes, ears, mouth are all free!
But my wholeness is vital!
I can’t leave my feet attached to the ground!

Those birds and butterflies,
They used to accompany me in this ordeal,
They just flew away.
Those bugs and snails,
They used to massage my legs in pain,
They crawled away!

I am broken.
I will always be!

Strings of rejection,
Am I hanging on to the delusion?
Trail of heart aches,
I am waiting until my sanity breaks.

I am waiting!

Shadow

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Merzouga Desert, Morocco, Feb 2017

Shadow of the past haunts until sunset.
It will cease only at night,
Because the brightness of the stars isn’t enough to create it.
It finds it’s way back following me when the sun rises again.
I’m inlove with sunrise and sunsets,
Because they bring you back to me in the most hurtful way!
– Masochist

Morning question

I saw this yesterday morning:

(I wasn’t sure of their names) An ordinary bird watching a singing, beautiful bird in the cage. I wasn’t able to take a photo because I was rushing to work but it made me think , would you prefer to be an ordinary bird outside the cage, free but common or a perfectly bred one with sought-after looks and talents yet caged?

A promise to herself

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Bamboo Bridge, Luang Prabang, Laos, December 2016

Your sudden flight left this huge space in her garden of comfort.
You have initially fill this space with ceaseless promises.
All lies.

She let you occupy this long, guarded land of beauty.
She embraced you as you are.
She held your hand and welcomed you.
Despite the knowledge that sorrow will soon arise from this fiction.
The story came to life and she was prepared.

She let you take off despite it hurts.
She didn’t open the gates immediately for another to fill it in.
Not just yet.
She is determined to fill this wide empty space you’ve left barren.
With herself.
By herself.
Only.

Her wings will grow into this space.
She will dance through this land without regret.
Using the music of your excruciating pledges and kisses.
She will make the most out of the burns and bruises you’ve created.

She will slowly plant new seeds that will soon bear fruits.
Until she no longer dreams of you still occupying this space.
She will own this and make herself expand.
Until it’s all hers.
Her circumference will be bigger than ever.
Her comfort zone will be wider than the universe.
Her talents will be unbeatable.
She will arise as the sole owner of a new fruitful land.
A land that she calls her own body, mind, spirit.
And Heart!