Lovingly yours, still


A once in a lifetime chance to see the Northern Lights, hence my face. Fairbanks, Alaska, USA, January 2016

I whispered into your ears, how much I love you.
You played deaf and continued on playing your games.
At twelve midnight, you kissed me on my forehead.

I woke up early to make pancakes, your favourite,
But you had to run and rush for work.
A client is helplessly waiting for your important advice.
In a flash, you took away the coffee I’ve always made for you in a plastic cup.

I sent countless messages reminding you how much I care for you.
Seen, not a single reply.
Content with a smiley face I received from you after five days.

Verbalizing my dreams of you letting me into your life.
By myself facing the mirror.
Reality slaps my face all the time.

I touched your face.
Embraced your imperfections and insecurities.
Held your hand, lightened your struggles.
Hoping to somehow elicit that smile that makes my day.
But instead, for a drop of sweet, you pulled me towards you.
And with an immense force you started to push me away.
Far away.

Apologies accepted, every day.
You chose her over me.
I still love you.
You ignored my plea.
But what can I do?
Nothing much.
Just let these tears dry.
While I continue on missing you.

I miss you.
That’s all I want to say.

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